Funeral Mass for Abbot Gerard

On Monday, March 15, Abbot Richard Cronin celebrated the funeral Mass of Abbot Gerard P. Lair who passed away on March 6. The monastic community was joined from members of the Delbarton community in paying honor to Abbot Gerard. Bishop Elias Lorenzo, auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Newark, preached the homily, celebrating Abbot Gerard and Christ's victory over death. Below is the text of the homily:

From the first act of Hamlet, we read:  "Thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die, passing through nature to eternity."  Those lines penned by William Shakespeare were taught to scores of students at Delbarton by a young and vivacious Father Gerard.  And now we mark his passage for this life to eternity.  Before reflecting on his remarkable life and ministry, let me first express the condolences of the abbot and monastic community to the Lair family, those here present in this church and those watching on livestream. Your brother, uncle and cousin, was brother, father and friend to us as well and to generations of students and alumni.  Be assured of our prayers for you on this day and the days and months ahead.  We do not grieve like those who have no hope.  With Abbot Gerard, we believe in Jesus Christ who suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified died and was buried, but on the third day rose from the dead.  We who are baptized in Christ share that victory.  We pray in this Eucharist that Abbot Gerard, who taught and preached that saving mystery of our faith, now shares in that victory!
         Each candidate and novice to the monastery learns the fundamentals of living the monastic life.  Essential to them is our daily practice of reading and praying the sacred scriptures, what we call lectio divina or holy reading.  For Father Gerard, this was more than a daily devotion, as it is for all our monks.  For Father Gerard, the reading and studying of sacred scripture was his greatest passion, second to none.  His interest in and passion for the living and enduring word of God, reminds me of the words of the prophet Jeremiah: “When I discovered your words, I devoured them. They are my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God of hosts.”
         Anyone who prayed with Father Gerard in this abbey church when he was the presider and preacher at the liturgy will vividly recall that he never used the book to read the scripture or proclaim the gospel.  He had them all memorized; yes, all 73 books of the Bible.  Among the many comments from alumni at the news of the passing of Abbot Gerard, one alum wrote:  "A Great man. The smartest person I ever met. Loved how he would turn reading the gospel into telling a story without ever looking at the book. Rest in peace.”  Abbot Gerard’s unique ability to proclaim the gospel without ever reading from the book is not an insight into his keen intellectual abilities, which were keen indeed.  Gerard was consumed by the living and enduring word of God.  It’s all he thought about, it’s all he talked about, it’s probably all he ever dreamed about, too. 
         Among the 73 books of the Bible, the ones that most interested Gerard were the writings of the apostle Paul.  He read them all and every commentary that was ever written about them. Repeatedly in his homilies and conferences, Abbot Gerard would admonish us, in the words of the apostle, to “put on the mind of Christ”, or as the apostle says elsewhere, to “grow to the full stature of Christ.” Gerard embraced the Pauline gospel: “It is not I who live but Christ lives in me.”  He encouraged us by word and example to be more like Christ today than we were yesterday, and more like Christ tomorrow than we are today.  This is the life of conversion for every disciple, but it is the vow of conversion of every monk.  Gerard knew this truth: Christ crucified and risen is the wisdom and power of God, as we heard in our second reading.
         The book of Ecclesiastes, which we heard from in our first reading, is one of my favorite books. It’s about someone who wants to find out why he’s alive, why he was created. He tries knowledge. He tries wealth. He tries experience. He tries everything.  I’m not alone in my admiration for this book. Herman Melville, the author of Moby Dick, called Ecclesiastes “the truest of all books.” Thomas Wolfe described it as “the highest flower of poetry, eloquence and truth” and “the greatest single piece of writing I have known.”
         The excerpt we heard from today speaks of life as a school and about a teacher who sounds very much like the teacher we all knew in Father Gerard.  One who teaches knowledge, weighing and studying many proverbs, writing the truth plainly but above all else, teaches reverence for God which is the duty of everyone and how to judge between good and evil.  Father Gerard knew life is a school and that God’s curriculum is wise and inspiring.  Therefore, we ought to live in awe and wonder in the Divine Presence.
         There is no doubt that Father Gerard was a natural teacher.  When our alumni learned of Father Gerard’s passing from this life to eternity, they wrote many emails and posted many comments on social media.  Several alumni commented on their robust freshman year reading lists, and how much they appreciated Gerard's indefatigable commitment to teaching.  Another alum wrote:  “Father Gerard lived fully the essence of St. Benedict’s rule to ‘Listen with the ear of your heart.’  His captivating grin and laughter, his enormous intellect and wise counsel gently guided all of us through our Delbarton years and the many years that have followed. He used to say ‘I care:’ he did and he meant it. May the light of his love for all of us continue to shine brightly in our lives.”
         When Father Gerard became chairman of the English Department, there was, of course, a total revision of the curriculum. The status quo was never acceptable to our confrere and friend.  Together with dedicated and gifted lay colleagues, whom he worked with and admired for their intelligence and personality, he developed the English curriculum for the entire school which was virtually in place for over 20 years. His vision of a Great Books curriculum guided these courses. And there was not a book on the list that he had not read, studied, and remembered!  He introduced daily reading quizzes and frequent in-class essays that required original thought. When students graduated from Delbarton back under his tutelage, they were critical thinkers and many became lifelong readers. 
One former faculty member noted “that not only was he the most demanding member of the English Department, he was also the kindest. He adored his students and bolstered their self-confidence and self-esteem without even being aware he was doing so.” The trust he had in the young men was evident in his philosophy of discipline. When he became headmaster, out went the demerits, detentions and the dean of discipline.  Using principles in the Rule of St. Benedict, he introduced “discipline by conversation.”  It’s surely easier to hand our demerits, but it takes effort to talk to a student so that he understands and changes his behavior to embrace what is good, right and true. His understanding of young people was so intuitive and spot on. As a faculty member noted, “he knew that to trust them was to get the best behavior out of them in return.”
During his tenure, Father Gerard invited other Benedictine schools in North America to discuss what is uniquely Benedictine about our schools.  What distinguishes us from schools run by the Jesuits or the Salesians or the Christian Bothers.  Those national meetings hosted here at Delbarton eventually grew into an International Commission on Benedictine Education, uniting more than 180 schools in over 30 different countries.  A repeated theme or topic at these global conferences was Delbarton’s discipline by conversation.
When the monastic community elected Father Gerard to serve as our abbot in 1995, after consultation with the community, he appointed me his prior.  We worked side by side on many projects and initiatives.  We met weekly on a host of topics and issues and I learned much from him about management and leadership.  In the Rule of St. Benedict, the abbot must  consult the brethren before making important decision; he is also to hear from the youngest of the brethren since the Lord often reveals to the young what is best (RB 3:3).
Consequently, from this first days of his abbacy, it was abundantly clear to the brethren that decisions would be made from the bottom up, and not from the top down.  To this end, everyone resident in the monastery, from the most senior monk to the novice at that time, was appointed to a standing committee that touched the daily life and activities of the monastery, such as liturgy, library, formation, vocations, continuing education, infirmary and even the refectory.
Make no mistake about it: Gerard Parker Lair was not a shy man.  He had strong opinions about many matters and it was no secret what they were.  More often than not, however, it was the opinion of the committee, which represented the community, that swayed nearly every argument.  His own opinion was often the last one offered because he wanted to hear from the brethren first.  I recall one rather lively discussion in the liturgy committee.  The committee did its research, offered its opinion, which Abbot Gerard strongly opposed.  But in the end, he accepted the opinion and work of the committee.  That’s servant-leadership.  That’s humility. 
The colorful and charismatic life of Gerard Parker Lair is difficult to capture is words.  What is sure:  Gerard Parker Lair was a man of unshakable faith.  He built his life on rock solid foundation of faith in Jesus Christ.  Sickness and suffering did not shake his faith.  Even though somewhat disoriented in recent months, when we gathered daily in prayer, Abbot Gerard was often found in his wheelchair circling the church and joining us in whatever way he could at that time in his life.  Frankly, we didn’t know what doorway or archway or aisle he was going to appear in next.  It seems old habits die hard.  He simply wanted to be with the community in prayer. 
Let me also express the profound gratitude of this monastic community to our dedicated nurses and aides who cared for Abbot Gerard over the past few years.  Special thanks to the monks who took him to his many doctors’ appointments.  Abbot Gerard is one of the honorees at this year’s Abbot’s Table, the annual benefit dinner for the monastery.  And we will still honor him in memoriam on that day, May 13, 2021; we hope you will join us in celebrating his life and legacy.
We commend this good and faithful servant, monk and priest, to the mercy of God.  May choirs of angels now lead him into the banquet halls of heavens and may perpetual light and peace shine upon him now and for all eternity. Inspired by Abbot Gerard, may we all prefer nothing whatsoever to Christ and may he bring us all together to everlasting life.  Praise the Lord!